Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could always end a difficult relationship with a hearty handshake and a sincere ‘best of luck to you’? The reality is that while that can and does happen on occasion, the end of our personal or romantic relationships can often leave us with lingering pain, sadness or anger.
As we learn more about our ability to bounce back from adversity, it makes sense to cover how and why we need to do so when it comes to bad, failed or downright toxic relationships, leaving us more empowered and able to move on with dignity and renewed faith in ourselves.
Breaking free and detoxing relationships is a big step, and when you know it’s gotta end, you just know; our self worth and happiness depend on it! While some people can work towards an amicable break-up or even continue to see each other within social or family groups, it is often a dramatic and emotionally draining time. Whether the break up was your idea or not, the end of a friendship, serious relationship or marriage represents a significant loss for most people. Let’s learn how to bounce back and not let a failed or toxic relationship get the best of us. In fact, let’s learn how to be our best selves in the process!
- Give yourself time to mourn
It’s perfectly normal to experience some grief or sadness after a relationship ends, especially when you had hopes and dreams for a different outcome. Go ahead and cry it out! While you don’t want to dwell on your loss for too long, be sure to spend some time working through those big emotions, being introspective, and talking about your feelings.
- Keep yourself busy
It’s easy when we are hurt, sad, rejected or angry to take on a mountain of negative energy. Harbouring a lot of resentment, guilt and/or anger will erode us from the inside. The best thing to do is to keep busy.
Life is full of great opportunities and amazing things to do and see! Eventually, you’ve got to get up off that couch and set goals for yourself such as spending more time with friends, finding new friends, trying a new hobby, sport or activity. You can volunteer for a community organization, take an art or cooking class, embark on that travel adventure you always wanted…just be sure to surround yourself with positive energy. While you’re involved in these new pursuits, you’ll love your newfound self-confidence and you’ll find yourself moving past that grief and anger much faster.
- Stay strong
Within many breakups, there are lingering issues to deal with. Maybe you have to move, sell your home or sort out finances, child support and custody; all of which are very draining. Keep that chin up and stay strong. Dig deep to find the silver lining in this temporary cloud, and surround yourself with upbeat, encouraging relationships. It’s the best antidote to a toxic time.
- Don’t give up on trust
…and don’t give up on people just because of a bad experience. Learn from the experience and move on, searching for better relationships. You’ll have a better grasp of what you don’t want in your next relationship, and you can more easily identify and express what it is you do want.
- Reinvent yourself
All endings are really just new beginnings. What a great opportunity to set new goals and start fresh. It might be the perfect time to make healthy changes to your lifestyle, your personal style, or career. It might also be time to remember who you used to be and recall what inspired or motivated you in the past. Being open-minded to personal change is such a great vibe; leading to enhanced self-worth, self-love and self-confidence.
Bouncing back from a break-up or toxic relationship isn’t easy, but it’s completely within our control. We can choose to live with regret, vengeance, anger and ‘what if’s’ that slowly destroy us from the inside, or we can take small but mighty steps every day to move past it with dignity and discover just how strong we really are.
What tips would you give a friend or loved one who’s recovering from a failed relationship? Share in the comments.
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together” – Marilyn Monroe